parents

     It was Monday, and one of those Mondays when I wonder whether I am reaping some karmic payback for past misdeeds.

     When students misbehave after continued warnings, I have them call their parents to explain their misbehavior. I wrote mom's contact numbers on a piece of paper and handed it to Dimples. I explained that he could call mom and tell her how he was doing, or I could call her. Most of my students prefer to call their parents and tell them on their own. Dimples promptly ripped the paper into pieces, dropped the bits on the floor and refused to pick them up, then sulked in the back of the room.  One of those classic "Hmm ... so what do I do NOW?" situations that make a first year in the classroom so memorable. I ended up calling mom this evening and asking her to talk to him about today.

     Call home #2: Two girls, Bubbles and Shorty, got into a loud verbal argument after lunch. I told them to put the problem on the side for now - to ignore each other and focus on the lesson. They continued to argue, and I gave Bubbles a choice: take some work and go cool off in a different teacher's room or at the counselor's office. She refused both options, re-entered the classroom, and continued to fight. I had Bubbles call home, and talked to mom as well. I explained that Bubbles had not followed directions. Mom made an excuse, saying her daughter was too absorbed in thinking about the situation and couldn't focus. To give a little background: Bubbles is the same student who took off running about a month ago because she was upset. She can be happy and social, but is always on the lookout for students doing something wrong (and pointing it out in a loud voice).
     The last time I talked to mom, she had a bone to pick with me when I mentioned that I sometimes move Bubbles to a different part of the room so she can calm down and focus. She was upset that I moved Bubbles instead of the other student involved in the conflict. So frustrating -- I don't move her to punish her. My only motive is to keep Bubbles in the classroom so she can learn. 

     Not to give you the wrong impression: so far I am thankful for my contacts with parents. Many of them are very interested in their child's success. (The home visits I did at the start of the year helped enormously in making both me and the parents comfortable).  For instance, I was talking to Snicket's mom the other week. While giving the weekly vocabulary test, I walked by Snicket's desk and noticed that he had his notebook open. I took his test back and told him that I would make him an alternate test. I didn't use the word "cheating" at all, either in talking to Snicket or to mom. But when I explained what I saw to his mom, she said, "But that's cheating." I thought, THANK YOU for understanding why I am calling. 
     I always try to present information about the student in a caring, objective manner. I ask myself: How would I want someone to talk to me/share information about my child, if I had one? There are those days when the bell rings, the students rush out, and I am tempted to call and say: Your child was a pain in the butt from 7:45 a.m. to 2 p.m. That's why I don't call right after school, but give myself a few hours to think about what really happened and figure out a productive way to communicate the problems.