sprouts and rubberbands: metaphor alert

     Orchid came into my room yesterday to observe language arts time. She took some very helpful notes, and we talked today about tweaking and tightening up my language arts time to maximize learning.
     So why am I so down?
     I guess I feel like a seed that's finally sprouted a fragile stem of green. Breaking the earth and learning the light. Getting used to life above. Only to be told, grow faster. And to have the sun blocked off by a gardener toting a Costco-size container of fertilizer. All meant to help me, of course.
     I don't have anything against Orchid. As before, I value her experience and the fact that she makes the time to show up in my room and get to know my interesting bunch of kids.
    It's not that I want to or am resting on my laurels. Far from it. I started the semester with intense reflection and adjustments on how to set up my classroom to be a safe place for learning.
     I guess there's just a whiff of desperation in the air. My school is one that has been in restructuring longer than desired. The big word around campus is: scores. People sometimes sub in the word learning, but they're really talking about learning that will lead to score gains.
     I don't have anything against that, either. Every student has the right to learn to read and do math. I do want to become a teacher who is effective at helping students succeed and grow. I'm just feeling a little like a stretched rubber band -- how much farther can I stretch?

overwhelmed

     It seems I hop over to my blog whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, or stressed. (Which explains why I've posted so much recently!)
    This year our grade level is specializing, with teachers pairing up and rotating their classes. The standard pairing is language arts and social studies, and math and science.  (Although Puakenikeni and I have switched it up -- I teach lang arts and science, she handles social studies and math. Side note: we are -- well, I am, at least -- still licking our wounds after getting a good walloping from a higher-up about that decision. But we're sticking to it.) You'd think teaching 2 subjects would make things easier. It does. At the same time, I'm already wondering how to coordinate guided reading in small groups for 40 kids in all.
     The remedy to feeling overwhelmed? Don't give myself too much time to fret over it. We just wrapped up a 4-day weekend. Several months ago, I decided to plan a day-and-a-half jaunt to Hilo. I mulled over it for a while, wondering whether I'd be panic-stricken about losing out on that much time for correcting piles of papers. I packed with great anxiety, but decided to leave my ungraded papers at home. And you know what? I had an amazing mini-trip. Yes, those papers are still ungraded, but I will get to them. And it was wonderful to know I had dedicated a small period of time to doing something non-work-related.
    So I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed, but I did get my balance back this weekend.

return of Dimples

     Several years ago, I went to a seminar on teaching students who come from poverty. The speaker was an experienced teacher who shared many stories from her classroom. One principle she shared was that she never sent students out of the room because it gave them the message that a) they were not an unconditional member of the classroom and that b) it didn't solve problems that arose between classroom members, whether it be student-student or teacher-student. She said that sending a kid to the principal's was like giving them a treat -- they got to be out of the room, see a different part of the school, and build a relationship with someone who is not the teacher.
     I like this principle in theory. In practice it's not quite workable for me. Sometimes I think a certain student needs a break from me and I need a break from him or her! Also, 5 minutes in another room might help a student refocus.
     That being said, I see that the part about relationship-building is true. I mentioned in an earlier post that a student from last year was sent back to my classroom. That student was Dimples. Even on the last day of school, I was still struggling to understand Dimples.  While I had students from last year who dropped by regularly in the first days of school, Dimples was not one of them. However, after he was sent back to me, he has started dropping by every day after school. I know he hasn't been doing homework, so I make sure to ask what's on his homework list. Now I don't even need to ask -- he just starts reciting what's for homework.  I'm trying to think of ways to help him be more successful in sixth grade. It's interesting to me that while I wanted to leave last year behind me in so many ways, the relationship with last year's students grows and evolves.

long road to order

    Is organization the secret to life?
    I don't think so, but I think it would rank in the top 10 list, definitely.
    I say this as a person who has been chronically disorganized for most of her life. I'm not the lose-my-car-keys-and-wallet-every-week type, but I do have trouble keeping things orderly. I believe it is an infernal combination of having too much stuff and not knowing how to organize my physical space for maximum orderliness. Or any kind of orderliness, for that matter.
     I realized last year that my lack of organization affected my students. So I spent $50 at Pricebusters to buy each kid a plastic desk tray that holds designated school supplies. (Alas, most of the kids have the bad habit of dumping random things into the tray, but I do make them clean it out from time to time). I also set up a file box for makeup work, a designated place to get a pencil, etc. and I believe the students are better organized as a result.
    Last year the backpack I lugged to and from work was always bursting with papers, all mixed up and not tended to as quickly as they should be. So this year I hit the office supply warehouse and bought a bunch of colorful, sturdy, plastic files to hold papers for each subject and class I teach. I'm still working out how to use them best, but at least it's a step up from the messy, heavy pile of papers I used to drag around.
    The system is not perfect, but it is better than last year. And that's enough for now.