Orchid came into my room yesterday to observe language arts time. She took some very helpful notes, and we talked today about tweaking and tightening up my language arts time to maximize learning.
So why am I so down?
I guess I feel like a seed that's finally sprouted a fragile stem of green. Breaking the earth and learning the light. Getting used to life above. Only to be told, grow faster. And to have the sun blocked off by a gardener toting a Costco-size container of fertilizer. All meant to help me, of course.
I don't have anything against Orchid. As before, I value her experience and the fact that she makes the time to show up in my room and get to know my interesting bunch of kids.
It's not that I want to or am resting on my laurels. Far from it. I started the semester with intense reflection and adjustments on how to set up my classroom to be a safe place for learning.
I guess there's just a whiff of desperation in the air. My school is one that has been in restructuring longer than desired. The big word around campus is: scores. People sometimes sub in the word learning, but they're really talking about learning that will lead to score gains.
I don't have anything against that, either. Every student has the right to learn to read and do math. I do want to become a teacher who is effective at helping students succeed and grow. I'm just feeling a little like a stretched rubber band -- how much farther can I stretch?
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