A few weeks ago, Puakenikeni and I were talking about my students, in particular the needy ones. I seem to have two varieties. Variety #1: the sweet but clingy and whiny type (Pup is a good example -- he kept coming up to me at random times yesterday to hug me). Variety #2: the acting-out, sometimes-just-plain-unpleasant type: the kids who poke other people with pencils, get into name-calling fights, and all that stuff. Lion and Ant fall into the second category.
Lion and I ate lunch together last Wednesday, and he talked NONSTOP. Puakenikeni and I listened in bemusement as Lion discussed his family, video games, video games, video games, and a heroic act at the beach. The next day, he marched up to me in the morning, thanked me for eating lunch with him (I knew there was a sweet kid in there somewhere), then declared, "Can I eat lunch with you today?? I have so much more to tell you!"
It's surprising how much that one lunch has helped. Yes, Lion still walks around, talks, makes beatbox sounds during the language arts lesson, and all that. Yes, on occasion he still does have to visit Puakenikeni's room with a folder paper and pencil to have some quiet time to write me a letter. But I think just giving him some personal time has really helped us start to converse about his behavior. It's a big step up from me scolding and him begging me not to call mom. I think spending that time with him has also helped me see him as a person, not just a behavior problem. So I think I bring a little more patience to my dealings with him. A win-win situation, I think.
Ant has been having similar issues, so I pulled him for lunch today. It was hard to get conversation rolling at first, but I kept asking questions and eventually he started talking on his own. I think it will take a little longer to see some results, but I'm hopeful that building the relationship will really smooth out things in the classroom.
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