uncharted territory

     He had a black eye, and Puakenikeni asked him what happened. He answered that he "couldn't tell."
     I let the counselors know, but their reply was that unless he was willing to say what happened, no further steps could be taken. I sent him to the nurse; the story there was that he fell off his bike. The two conflicting stories let the school start the investigative process. He was out of the room most of the day. Counselors let me know the injury was inflicted by someone at home.
     That someone called me in a rage after school, demanding to know what he had told me and demanding a meeting to "get to the bottom of this."
     He wasn't here Monday, and Puakenikeni and I were a little worried, although there were a good number of absent kids on a Monday sandwiched between Halloween and Election Day.
     He showed up today, wearing a thick fake gold chain and swaggering as if it could save his life. Only after I came home did I realize how true the latter statement is. The swagger, the major attitude he gave me and Puakenikeni today when we talked to him -- all essential attempts to feel strong and in control when he feels anything but. He spent a large part of the day wandering around the classroom, punching at things -- cubby covers, the wall, etc., but thankfully not at anyone else. He did calm down in the afternoon.
     Today I thought a lot about limits. For instance, there are limits to my influence on my students. While I may be sending positive messages, they may be canceled out by contrary messages from home or peers. I am grateful that most of my students' parents are committed and active in their child's education. I also thought about how I cannot control my students' home life, and how sometimes unkind words and acts inflicted at home are dragged to school.
     I also realized today that teaching is an interesting job because it sometimes sends me into uncharted territory. Yes, there is a definite spot where my kindness and patience peters out. On the way to that border, I need to pay close attention because there's no map to guide me, no signposts. But once I'm there, I know it. I can't see past the border and I suppose that's a blessing. It's not a comfortable place to visit, but it is instructive. I just haven't figured out for sure what the lesson is yet.